Hold My Hand
by LoveandLearn
Summary: Addison's mentor Vivian helps her prepare for motherhood after she and Derek get pregnant during their residency. Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

"Addison," Vivian called out for the third time and got no response. "Addison!"

Addison snapped out of her trance and turned her attention to her attending, "Yes?"

"Did you get the results for the MRI?"

"What MRI?"

"I asked you to order an MRI an hour and a half ago."

Addison stared blankly at her mentor, "On who?" she asked in confusion.

"On the woman in 317. Mrs. Wilmore, I believe is her name."

"I didn't hear you. I'm sorry. I can go put in an order right now," Addison replied.

"And the labs for the Gelson baby?"

"I'll have an intern get them ASAP.

"You were supposed to have that done already. I was hoping you had read them already. The surgery is in an hour, Addison."

"I know, I'm sorry. I've got a lot on my mind today."

"Then maybe you shouldn't scrub in on the surgery. I don't need a distracted resident in there with me."

Addison shamefully met her mentor's eyes and nodded, "I'll have the labs for you right away so you can be ready for his surgery. I'll put in the MRI order for 317 right afterward."

Vivian nodded. "Good, get on it. And then go take a nap or something. I can't have you this distracted all day."

* * *

"I've looked everywhere for you," Vivian said softly after finding Addison sitting alone on a bench outside the ER. She held out a cup of black coffee to her resident, "I've been worried about you. You've been distracted for days now, Addison. If it was just one day I'd let it slide but this is day four."

Addison looked up and accepted the coffee. She watched as Vivian took a seat beside her.

"You wanna tell me what's going on with you? It is not like you to be distracted at work. I've been working with you for a while now and I've never seen you forgetting to put in orders or pick up labs. Everything okay with Derek? Your parents? Did Bizzy get to you again?"

"I might be pregnant," Addison blurted out before taking a long sip of coffee to avoid saying anything else.

"Have you taken a blood test?"

"No."

"Have you taken a home pregnancy test?"

"No."

"Then how do you know if you are or aren't?"

"I haven't had it confirmed yet but I'm pretty sure that I am. I've never been late and I'm late. I'm exhausted. My boobs are so tender that the slightest bit of pressure makes me want to scream."

"And you're not doing a blood test to confirm because you're afraid it'll be negative?"

"I'm afraid it'll be positive."

"You don't want children?"

"I don't know," Addison admitted. "I go back and forth a lot. It's a big decision."

"But Derek wants them?"

"Of course he does. His family is basically the size of a small village. He's known from the very beginning that he wants kids."

Vivian laughed at Addison's comment.

"You don't have kids," Addison pointed out.

"I'm not married either. Marriage just wasn't in the cards for me. Men were so focused on teasing me for trying to beat them at their game that no one ever bothered to woo me. And kids, well, I decided it was more worthwhile for me to dedicate myself to students like you. You know that I think of you as the daughter I never had."

Addison smiled gratefully, "I know. And you're more of a mother to me than my own mother which is why I'm talking to you about this."

"Addie, there is nothing to talk about. I know it can be scary, especially if you're not sure that you're meant to be a mother, but you can't do anything until you know for sure. Once you know for sure, you'll have time to explore your feelings about it. And who knows, it could be nothing."

Addison nodded her head, "You're right."

Vivian put her arm around Addison and gestured toward the inside of the building, "Let's go get you that blood test."

A few hours later Vivian sat at her desk in the privacy of her office with Addison's blood test results in front of her. After going through the lab report she picked up the phone on her desk and called the nurses' station, "Can you please page Addison Shepherd to my office?"

"Dr. Shepherd is in surgery, Dr. Carlsmith. She's got a c-section on the board for premature twins. Once she's delivered she'll be in the NICU with the premies."

"Let her know to stop by my office as soon as she has a chance."

Two hours later Addison softly knocked on her mentor's office door and waited for permission to enter. "You paged?"

"I have your test results," Vivian told her. "Take a seat," she suggested.

Addison sat down on one of the chairs in front of Vivian's desk. She quickly paled at the prospect of the news she was about to receive.

"Do you want me to tell you or would you like to see the results yourself?"

"Tell me."

Vivian offered the woman a smile, "You're pregnant."

Addison's eyes widened just slightly as the words came out of the older woman's mouth.

"Based on the hCg levels here, I'd say you're about between seven and eight weeks," she continued. "Are a congratulations in order or would you prefer for me to give you some time?"

Addison slouched down in the chair and sighed heavily. "I can't believe this is happening. We're not ready for a baby. I'm not ready for a baby. Derek and I are always so careful."

"Well, Addie, if you're sexually active then this is always a possibility no matter how careful you are. Are you on birth control? If you are you'll need to stop."

Addison covered her face with her hands, "What the hell am I going to do? I can't become a mother right now. I work more than twice the hours of an average full time mother."

"Addison, you have options. You don't have to figure this out right now. You can take some time and decide. This is not the 1950s. If you decide this is not what you want you can choose to have an abortion. You can choose to put the baby up for adoption. It's up to you."

She shook her head, "I can't abort Derek's baby…"

Vivian could see the tears starting to build up as her eyes grew redder. She knew that Addison was raised never to show emotion in public and seeing her slowly breaking down in front of her was difficult. A part of her, the maternal part that had developed as she became closer and closer to Addison, wanted to comfort her. She wanted to hug the younger woman and tell her that everything would be okay. Another part of her, the professional, experienced physician, knew it was best to remain neutral and unattached. She just didn't know which side to listen to.

"Derek will be a great dad. And I have 9 months to learn how to be a decent mother."

"You will be a great mother," Vivian reassured. "Addie, you are very maternal. You are patient, calm, warm, and supportive but you can be firm when needed. Being a resident with your own group of interns is great prep for parenthood," she joked.

Addison let out a small chuckle.

"You won't have to do it alone. As your friend, I'll be there through every step of the way. You won't go through any of it alone. And I may not be a mother but I've got a lot experience that I'd love to share. And as your mentor and boss, I'll make sure everything goes smoothly. We can adjust your workload to meet your needs."

* * *

Derek's lips curled into a goofy grin as his knees gave in to the moment and left him to fall into a seated position on their bed behind him. "A baby?" he asked just to make sure.

"A baby," Addison affirmed. She couldn't help but smile because of the look of sheer glee on his face.

"A little, tiny human being that we made?"

"Yeah, I guess that's another way you could word it," she said as she sat on his side of the bed beside him. She's always imagined announcing her pregnancy to her husband in a more creative way. She didn't mean to blurt it out after they got home exhausted from a 24 hour shift.

Silence took over, Derek's smile continuing to grow as the images played in his mind. A baby. His wife was pregnant with his child. They were going to become parents to a child they created.

"Are you happy?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"You wouldn't?" Addison asked in surprise.

"Happy doesn't feel like it encompasses what I'm feeling right now. I don't know if there is a word that explains what I'm feeling. This is everything I've ever dreamed of. Everything. Is that legal? To have it all? Because perfection isn't supposed to exist but I feel like I'm living a perfect life. I've wanted three things my whole life. I wanted to be a doctor, a surgeon. I'm a neurosurgical resident at Mount-fucking-Sinai. I wanted to be a husband, a good husband. I wanted to be a good enough husband to make my father proud of the man I've become and I wanted to marry a woman who would make me a better person. I ended up married to Addison Forbes Montgomery. Now I realize that you are Addison Forbes Montgomery so you might not understand what that means but you were the woman every man in med school had wet dreams about. Brilliant and oh-so-very-sexy. And of all those guys, most of whom were better than me, you chose me. And now, as if my life wasn't a fantasy enough, you're having my baby. I've always known that I want kids, that I want to be a father and you're giving me that too."

Addison's eyes glossed over with tears. She knew he would be happy but this was more than she expected. He was thrilled and she was scared out of her mind, no where near ready to become a mother.

"Are you crying?" Derek asked suddenly, the grin on his face quickly replaced by a concerned expression. He placed his arm on his wife's back and rubbed soothing circles, "Honey?"

"Hormones," Addison lied.

Derek nodded understandingly. He moved closer to her and pressed his lips tenderly to her temple as she struggled to stop herself from crying. "I love you more than you'll ever know," he said softly.

The comment made her lose control and he heard an audible gasp of air escape from her lips as she battled for the slightest bit of composure.

"Addie, you're not okay," he mumbled as he continued to gently rub her back. "I know this must be scary for you."

Addison nodded just slightly, "I just wasn't expecting it. This isn't how we planned it. We were gonna wait until after residency."

"I know," Derek said calmly. "But that doesn't make this any less exciting. So it happened a year earlier than we had wanted; in the long run that won't matter. We'll find a way to make it work. This last year of residency may be harder on both of us with a baby but we'll find a way to make it work. Besides, after residency comes fellowships then comes attending positions then we're battling it out for head of department positions and then chief, it never slows down. There will never be a right time if we keep waiting, our careers never get easier. Next thing you know, we're 45 year old attendings who missed the chance to have kids because we kept waiting for the right time. The timing may be difficult right now but this is the most amazing thing that could have happened. We'll find a way to make it work."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

"I can't do this," the woman sobbed.

Addison looked up to meet her patient's eyes, "Just one more push," she encouraged. "I just need one more big push and I can do the rest."

One loud groan and a strong push later a small, lifeless body slipped into Addison's hands. She quickly cut the cord and handed the stillborn baby to the nurse beside her. She went back to work, attempting to get through the afterbirth as quickly as possible so she could leave the room.

"Can we see him?" The father asked with tears in his eyes.

Addison met his gaze and nodded, "Of course," she replied and looked over her shoulder at the nurse. "Just give her a minute. She is cleaning him off."

Just moments later a nurse returned with the lifeless premature infant wrapped in a blue towel. She placed him in the mother's arms then went to stand beside Addison.

"I can handle things for a bit if you'd like to call another resident to take over the afterbirth."

Addison nodded her head and quickly exited the room. She had a resident paged and the moved as fast as her legs could carry her toward the physicians' lounge.

"Dr. Carlsmith, have you seen Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd?"

Vivian, who was in the middle of eating her lunch, looked up at the nurse. "I haven't seen her," she replied. "Have you checked the board? She's working on two fellowships at once. She doesn't have the luxury of downtime. I'm sure she's somewhere."

"She's not on the board, she's not in any of the galleries. I called the research library, called the lab and radiology. Checked the lounges and called the ER."

"Cindy, I know I'm her attending and her mentor. I know that we are very close but I don't have a tracking device or a bell on her. I don't know where she is all the time."

The nurse nervously nodded, "I know. It's just that I need her to sign off on this order for the patient with the stillborn from this morning."

"Addison delivered a stillborn this morning?"

"Yes."

Vivian sighed, she closed the lid on her takeout container with a half of a bitten sandwich and wilted salad. She held it out to the nurse, "Can you take this to my office and leave it on the desk? I'll get to it after I find Dr. Shepherd."

On nothing but a hunch, Vivian stepped out into the ambulance bay and found her mentee sitting on the bench with her head buried in her hands. She sighed and took a seat next to the younger woman. "People have been tearing this place apart to find you," she informed the resident.

"I needed a minute."

"Rumor has it you've been MIA for hours."

"I needed some time. I just," she paused, turning her head toward Vivian, "I needed time away from patients to get the image out of my head."

"I heard about your case. I'm sorry. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to witness that when you're pregnant yourself."

Addison nodded, "I don't even know what this is!" She exclaimed in frustration. "I've seen it before. I've delivered stillborns before. I see so many devastating cases but today it hit me like a ton of brick."

"You're becoming more maternal," Vivian told her softly.

"What?"

"You had some maternal qualities before. But those were just a part of your personality. Now it's different. You're changing. Now you're worried and protective. And that change in combination with the massive hormonal change is bound to make you emotional after seeing what you saw."

Addison wiped the tears from her eyes and said, "I guess that's a logical reason."

"It is," Vivian nodded surely. "On the down side, you've been able to hide your bump with scrubs so not too many people know what's going on with you. I'm fairly certain that the nurses and interns all think you're falling off your rocker because of your reaction to this case."

Addison chuckled, "Most of them stopped liking me when they discovered I'm married to Derek so I've learned not to pay attention to their opinions."

"Most people take it very personally when they find out he's married," she agreed. "And then the plastics guy, Mark I think you've said, sweeps in and sleeps with them to make up for it. But seriously, Addie, you can't hide the pregnancy forever. It's okay if people find out."

"I don't want them to look at me different. I don't want them thinking I'm any less capable now or that I can't keep up with male residents because of this."

"Addison, you're the only person I know who chose to do two fellowships at once. No one has any right to think you're less capable. Others would have crumbled under the pressure in your place."

Addison nodded her understanding as the woman got up from the bench.

"Now get back to work. You don't have the luxury for free time when you're working on two fellowships."

Addison got up, wiping any stray tears from her face before following behind her mentor. "Vivian," she started again when they both stopped to wait for the elevator. "Thank you. For today, for every day. I couldn't do any of this without you."

Vivian smiled at her and put an arm around her shoulders, "Don't thank me. Like I said, I think of you as the daughter I never had."

* * *

Addison laid on the bottom bunk in one of the on call rooms. The dull ache in her back had been bothering her for days. She knew came with the territory with the 14 extra pounds she had gained, making her the heaviest she'd ever been in her life. It was much, much less than what most women gain during pregnancy but that provided little reassurance because every extra pound made it that much more difficult for her to be on her feet all day. She also knew that she would continue to gain weight as her baby got bigger and she could only imagine how difficult that was going to be.

A very loud, annoyed groan left her lips when her pager went off. She reached for the small device, ignoring the temptation to throw it against the wall, and checked the screen. ER ETA 4 mins. ER patients were always the most physically demanding, the running, the fast pace of treatment- just the thought brought tears to her eyes.

"Fancy running into you here," Derek commented when the elevator doors opened for his wife to step in.

She rolled her eyes in response and walked toward the back of the elevator so she could lean against the wall.

"You okay?"

"My back is killing me. I feel like he's grinding his head against my spine."

"He?" Derek asked, brows shooting up with interest. "Did you look? You said you wouldn't look."

Addison had insisted on opting out of knowing their baby's gender. She promised she would fight any urge to run an ultrasound on herself. She would look away during prenatal appointments that involved risk of seeing the fetus' lower half. She swore she wouldn't look in her own chart which contained full view printouts of their child. Derek admitted that if he were in her place he would have peaked a long time ago.

"I didn't look. It is just a hutch. But I'm only 32 weeks and I feel like a beached whale. That obviously means I've got a mini Derek in there."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, faking offense. He learned early on that he shouldn't take any of her hormone influenced comments seriously.

"Your mom says you were her most difficult child from the very beginning."

"I was an angel."

"She was hospitalized twice for exhaustion because you would kick so hard at nights that she couldn't sleep," Addison reminded him. "Luckily your mini-me isn't that bad but still. I still have 8 weeks to go, Derek. That's two months. I'm not supposed to go on maternity leave for another 3 or 4 weeks. I can't last that long if he continues like this. I've got a case in the ER right now. By the time I waddle over there my patient might be dead."

"You are not a beached whale. Vivian is worried that the fetus is not large enough for this stage of gestation. You can't be a beached whale if you're doctor says you're on the low end of the bell curve."

"Derek, don't bring statistics into this," Addison rolled her eyes and leaned off the wall, flinching as full weight was back on her feet.

"Maybe it wouldn't be so difficult to be on your feet if you gave up those death traps," he mumbled, pointing down to the four and a half inch stiletto pumps on her feet. By the end of her shift her feet were swollen to twice their usual size.

Tears quickly built up in Addison's eyes and she struggled to keep them in control.

"Are you crying? No, don't cry. I didn't mean that. They're gorgeous shoes, Ad. They're not death traps," he retracted quickly, closing the gap between himself and his wife to wrap his arms around her and comfort her.

Addison nuzzled her head into his shoulder for comfort. "I can't do this. I cry over everything. I can't keep up with the pace of my job. I'm expanding faster than humanly possible. I feel like I'm losing control of my life."

"You are not losing control of your life. You are just pregnant. All of this is only temporary," he promised, gently rubbing her back.

* * *

"Addison, honey, I know you're tired but on the count of three I need you to push." Vivian told her, hand on her knee supportively.

Derek pressed a kiss to her temple, "Almost there, Addie."

"I can't, I'm not ready to be a mom, Derek. I thought I was. I thought the last seven month preparing did the trick but it didn't. Apparently you get to this point and realize this is happening too fast."

"Honey, the baby can't wait until you feel ready."

Vivian glared at Derek, "I'd kick you out of here after that if you were my husband." she muttered through her gritted teeth. "Addie," she started, pulling off her gloves and tossing them aside. She went to stand by Addison's side and took her hand. "You're ready. You are already a much better mother than so many women we've both seen come through those doors. A much better mother than some women we see coming in here for their third or fourth kid. You are ready. And the only way you'll understand that is when you hold your little miracle. And the only way we can have you do that is if you push with the next contraction."

Addison met her mentor's eyes, "Carlsmith, if my baby pops out while you're standing here I'm having your medical license revoked."

Vivian laughed and moved back to settle herself on the stool at the foot of the bed. "See, already so protective." she teased. "Your next contraction should come in about 10 to 15 seconds. Push as soon as you feel it."

Something between a groan and a painful sob escaped Addison's lips as she pushed. Derek cringed in pain as she crushed his hand with hers. He did everything he could to keep himself from screaming louder than her.

"Head is out, Addison," Vivian announced. "One more big push for the shoulders and you're done, sweetie."

Squeezing Derek's hand harder, she pushed with all her strength.

"It's a girl!" she heard her mentor announce and sighed heavily, falling back against the bed to take breath. She felt Derek let go of her hand to accept a pair of scissors from a nurse to cut the umbilical cord. Before she had time to react a warm, tiny body was placed on her chest, wrapped in a pink receiving blanket. Her arms instinctively moved to cradle the baby. Just by looking at her, Vivian knew all of her concerns had melted away.

Two hours after the delivery Vivian stepped into a dimly lit private room and smiled widely at the scene in front of her. Addison was sitting up in bed nursing her newborn daughter while Derek was napping on a very uncomfortable reclining chair.

"Do you want me to come back later?" she asked softly.

Addison looked up from the baby in her arms and shook her head, "No, it's okay. You can come in. You've already seen more anyway," she joked.

"How are you doing?" She asked professionally, leaning closer to peak at the baby who was mostly covered by Addison's hospital gown.

"I'm great," Addison smiled.

"Any pain, nausea? Anything I should know about?"

"No, I'm okay."

"And how is the breastfeeding going? I realize it has only been a few hours but..."

Addison looked down at her daughter, "She's still getting the hang of latching so that part can be a bit painful. Other than that it's okay."

Vivian nodded understandingly. She took a seat on the chair beside Addison's bed and set the chart aside, "Now that we've gotten the professional questions out of the way I can stop being your doctor and just be a visitor."

"Do you want to hold her?" Addison offered. "She is done eating and needs to be burped."

Vivian nodded and stood from her seat to take the baby from Addison's arms. She took in the infant's features in awe, "She is easily the most beautiful baby I've ever delivered...or seen, to be honest."

"You might be a little biased," Addison responded with a light chuckle.

"Maybe a little but that doesn't change the fact that she's perfect," Vivian insisted as she positioned the baby on her shoulder to burp her. "How is Derek doing? He looks exhausted."

"He knocked out ten minutes ago. He had a 24 hour shift that ended this morning and when he came home I was in labor so he had to come right back. But he's good. Ecstatic. He wants to call his family but I want some time before they all come and hog the baby."

"Does she have a name yet?"

"She does," Addison met her mentor's eyes and smiled, "Her name is Riley Vivian Shepherd."

"Addison," Vivian was obviously surprised at the name choice. "Honey, I really appreciate that. It's a huge honor but are you sure? Your mother and Derek's mother…"

"You're more of a mother to me than my own mother. You've been there for me through everything. And even if you weren't, I'd never name my child Beatrice. And Carolyn's already got like three grandkids named after her. Besides, it doesn't matter what they think. You are like a mother to me which means you'll be like a grandmother to my child. She's our daughter and Derek and I are both in agreement about her name."

"If you had a boy, would you have named him Richard?"

Addison shook her head, "Give my child a name that shortens to Dick? Doubtful. But Derek's urging me to reconsider should we ever have a son."

"Well, it means a lot to me, Addison. Thank you." Before either of them could say anything else, Vivian's pager buzzed. She frowned as she passed the baby back to Addison. "I'll be back for more cuddles as soon as I can," she said, brushing a light kiss on the baby's forehead.

"We'll be here," Addison replied as she brushed her finger against her daughter's soft cheek.

"Addison, if I come back here and your mother-in-law and mother are here and ready to hang me for stealing their thunder, I'm gonna blame you."

"You'd throw me under the bus like that? I just spent hours in labor birthing your namesake."

"Your mother is a scary woman. I don't want to risk getting on her bad side."

* * *

I should be writing the most important paper of the semester. Instead I finally got around to editing this story to be post worthy. Part two coming soonish.


	2. Chapter 2

**Four years later**

"Vivian," Addison greeted in surprise when she opened her front door to find her mentor standing on the other side. It was Addison's day off of work and she knew that Vivian was supposed to be working. It was extremely unlikely for both of them to be absent on the same day. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" she asked, opening the door and stepping out of the way so her mentor could step inside.

"I took a long lunch break to come down and see you. I'm glad you're home. I didn't think to call before coming. There is something I want to talk to you about."

Addison's brows furrowed, "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," Vivian assured her. "Where is Riley?"

"She's in the living room watching Doc McStuffins," Addison replied.

Vivian stepped into the living room and found her psudeo grandchild sitting wide-eyed on the couch, staring at the TV in fascination. Vivian shifted her gaze toward the TV and laughed, "Already trying to introduce your four year old to the world of medicine?"

"I had nothing to do with the selection of the TV show but she loves it and it keeps her quiet for a while so I don't question it," Addison replied. "I have to go over some notes and research before my surgery tomorrow morning so anything that keeps her occupied. But it is kind of adorable. Sometimes she sees something on the show and she has questions about it. She's really got a problem with the inaccurate treatment methods."

Vivian laughed, "Maybe she'll go on to create or produce a long running medical drama."

"Based loosely on my life," Addison added jokingly. "Let's face it, my life make for decent television. Heiress with shitty parents marries a very charming, good looking man from a large, almost lower middle-class family. High stress job, lots of family drama..."

Vivian rolled her eyes at her mentee's comment. "Did you say you're doing research? Why? It's your day off... But then again, I guess that is a reason that I'm here."

"What?" Addison's brows furrowed again. Vivian was always a welcomed guest in her home. She often came over to babysit Riley if she wasn't working. She'd have dinner with the Shepherds at least once a week. When Riley was first learning to speak, she had trouble saying Vivian's name or any title. She quickly titled the woman "Vivvie" and the name stuck even after Riley's phonetic and vocabulary skills improved. Regardless of their close, personal relationship Addison, had never gotten a work related visit from her mentor on her day off.

"I need to talk to you, Addison."

"Okay…" Addison trailed off, reaching for the remote and turned off the TV. She turned her head just in time to see her wide-eyed toddler preparing to protest. Before the child could say anything, Addison said, "Sweetie, how about you go play with your toys? Vivvie needs to talk to mommy about something important. "

Riley jumped off of the couch and toward the other guest room down the hall. After Riley was born the room had been converted to a playroom.

"Try not to make a mess, sweetie," Addison called after her even though she knew her comment would be long forgotten by the time the three year old reached the room. "What's going on?"

"The board has asked me for my endorsements for replacements for me as head of neonatal and ob/gyn."

"Wait, what?" Addison's eyes widened at the news.

Vivian could help but notice the similarity of the facial reactions between the young woman and her toddler. Riley reminded her more and more of Addison with every passing week. She always thought Riley's wided eyed reaction to surprising occurrences was adorable, and now she learned that the trait came from her mother.

"Where are you going? Are you getting promoted to chief?"

"I've decided to retire, Addison," Vivian said softly.

"Why?!" Addison asked in surprise.

"Because I've been doing this for longer than you've been alive. I'm tired, Addison."

"Well, I'll take all of your patients. You just stick around as department head."

"But I don't have to. I've recommended a candidate that will be able to run both departments better than I ever did. And I've already made my recommendation to the board."

"Who is it? Is it that guy, uh- I can't remember his name. The keynote speaker from that last conference we went to together. I doubt he'd be better than you but he's the only other people I can think of who is qualified enough to run two departments for Mount Sinai."

"I've recommended you to take over for both departments, Addison" Vivian told her.

"Me?" Addison practically screeched. "I can't. I can't possibly fill your shoes."

Vivian rolled her eyes teasingly, "We both know your ego is bigger than that," she joked. "You are the best student I've ever had, Addison. You are like a daughter to me. I know you can do this. I know that you're the right person for the job and the board agrees with me."

Addison sighed, "I guess I could try. You'll be around if I have questions. I'm sure I can convince you to scrub in once in awhile."

"I'm moving."

"Moving where? Connecticut?"

"New Mexico."

"What the hell is in New Mexico?" Addison asked in frustration.

"My sister is there. I've got nieces, a nephew who live close by. They've got kids out there. Plus, it's warmer there."

"So you're just leaving me just like that?"

"I'm not leaving you, Addison. I'll come visit for every birthday, every holiday, and every special occasion in between. You are my family. I'll always be here for you. I'll be just a phone call away. I'm doing this for me. I need to do this."

* * *

That night Derek came home from work to find his wife sitting in the dimly lit living room staring at a bottle of wine on the coffee table in front of her. He left his briefcase, shoes on the floor by the door and tossed his coat on the railing of the stair case. He walked into the living room and wordlessly sat beside his wife, propping his sock covered feet on the table. He turned his head toward his wife. When she didn't say anything, he spoke. "I hear a congratulations are in order."

Addison turned her head to meet his eyes. "What?"

"Head of Department? Rumor has it Vivian appointed you."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks." she said quietly going back to staring at the bottle of wine in front of them.

"Should I grab a couple of glasses and a bottle opener? We can pop that bottle open and celebrate. Or, if you'd prefer, I'll go out and buy champagne."

"I can't have either," Addison murmured. "But if you want some, you can go for it."

"Oh," Derek mumbled. He remained seated before the question crossed his mind, "Wait, why can't you have some?"

Addison turned to meet Derek's eyes again. "I'm pregnant," she told him softly though her expression was still terrifyingly emotionless.

A smile quickly grew on Derek's face. Though there was never a spoken agreement between the pair to try for a second child, it had been a wordless understanding that it was a good time to complete their child with another child. He leaned closer to her and kissed her softly. He felt the moisture on her cheeks and pulled away in surprise. "Addie?" he asked, "I thought this is what we wanted?"

"It is. It was," she replied with a sniffle. "But it wasn't supposed to be like this. Vivian is moving to New-fucking-Mexico. How am I supposed to do this without her? I couldn't have done it without her last time. I need her."

"You have me," Derek reminded her.

"You're my husband," Addison dismissed with a groan.

"And your mentor is more comforting than I am?"

"It's not that. She's not just my mentor. She's more of mother to me than my own mother. And sometimes a girl just needs her mother. And for me, pregnancy is one of those times". I couldn't have done it without her last time."

"This time is different," Derek reasoned. "You're not working on two fellowships anymore. You are the head of the department. It's your turn to be someone's Vivian. She's passing her torch to you. She believes in your. She knows that you have what it takes. She's not abandoning you. She's giving you room to thrive to become the surgical super star she knows you can be."

* * *

"You are doing great, sweetheart," Derek told her encouragingly as her doctor checked to see if there was any progress with dilation. He knew that she hated the doctor she had chosen this time around. But he also knew she would be annoyed with anyone she chose because no one could compare to her mentor.

"You are at about seven and a half, Addison," the doctor told her as he snapped off his gloves.

"Are you kidding me? I was at 7 almost two hours ago. Are you telling me it's only changed by half a centimeter?"

"Addie, it's okay. Be patient." Derek told her softly.

"Addison, I think it is time you start considering a c-section. We can give you another hour or so and see if there is any progress but if not, we really shouldn't wait anymore. The baby's heart rate drops significantly after every contraction and with your contractions getting so close together, it's something I'd rather not risk."

"No," Addison replied firmly.

"Excuse me?" her doctor asked in astonishment. It seemed obvious that none of his patients had ever questioned his judgement before.

"I'm not having a c-section right now because you are in a rush. I'm a doctor too. I'm the head of this department. The baby's heart rate is not low enough to consider it distress. The dips with each contraction are within a normal range."

"I didn't say the c-section has to happen right now."

"If right now there is no indication that I'd need one then why would I consider one at all?" Addison argued knowingly. "I've only been admitted for ten hours. I've got patients in labor for three times as long. Some woman are slower than others. We don't force them into c-sections."

"So you want to doctor yourself and risk losing this baby?"

"No, what I want is for you to get out," Addison told him with a glare. "And we will discuss your bedside manner when I'm back from maternity leave."

The middle aged man turned and left the room, trying to keep himself as composed as possible.

Addison rolled her eyes, "I hate male ob/gyns. They're all assholes," she told her husband. "I knew I should have gone with a woman but he is supposed to be one of the best."

"He is one of the best, Addie. And you just fired him as your doctor and I think you threatened to fire him as his employer."

"Yeah, if he's such an asshole with all patients then my department is taking a hit because of him. I have a reputation to uphold. This hospital has a reputation to uphold," she explained. "And he's not coming near me or our baby. Can you find out who is on call? I want a different doctor. Hell, I'd prefer to have the charge nurse than him."

"Addison?" Vivian called out softly as she entered the private suite.

"Vivian!" A grin grew on Addison's face.

"Richardson is out there complaining about you. He's muttering all kinds of things under his breath," she said in amusement as she neared the bed to hug her mentee. "I don't recall you being such a difficult patient."

"I am not a difficult patient. He is just an idiot. He was trying to convince me that the baby is in distress. I know he's not. I can see the monitor. I'm not going to get a c-section just because he's tired of waiting for me. " Addison insisted. "I know you didn't come here for work but any chance you're willing to take over?" Montgomerys did not beg but she would if she had to.

"I'll take over, sweetie, don't you worry about anything," Vivian promised, squeezing the woman's hand comfortingly. She checked the print out from the fetal monitor and then glanced up at Addison, "This looks very normal, Addie. I doubt you need a c-section, sweetie. We just need to wait and give your body some time. And unlike any doctor here, I don't have any other patients, any charts or anyone waiting on me for anything. I'm here for you and only you so we have lots of time."

Two hours later, Addison hadn't progressed any further. Addison cringed when she felt a nurse check her dilation and then she groaned when the woman reported to Vivian, who was seated casually beside Addison's bed. "Dr. Carlsmith, she's fully dilated by the baby is still at minus two station."

Addison turned her head toward Derek, "I am convinced this baby is all you in personality. He's not even born yet and he's already testing his boundaries and my patience."

"Addie, maybe we can try pushing. If we can get him to descend, we can get him out. I will be able to use vacuum assist and he'll be fine," Vivian suggested as he nurse helped her into a surgical gown and a pair of gloves. "We'll keep our eyes on the fetal monitor, sweetie. If his heart rate drops then we'll have to do a c-section. We don't want to risk the baby."

The baby had indeed gone into distress and Addison knew she couldn't deny the fact that she needed a c-section. She felt much more comfortable knowing that Vivian would be her surgeon. She was quickly wheeled to an OR, Derek stood by her side and held her hand the whole time. She could barely see the top of Vivian's head with the blocking screen step up to block her view but the sound of her voice was comforting.

"Are you ready, Addie? I'm about to get started," Vivian told her softly as she held her hand out for a scalpel.

"I'm ready," she replied nervously.

"You're going to feel a little pressure, Addie. If you feel uncomfortable let me know."

Addison let out a deep breath when she felt a strange pressure on her abdomen. She's done more c-sections than she could count or remember but the experience was entirely different. She had to silently remind herself what she told patient on a daily basis; despite the fact that it felt more clinical and impersonal, a c-section did not make the experience any less special.

"Addison," Vivian called for her attention, "I can see him, sweetie, get ready to meet your baby."

"Is everything okay?" Addison asked as the pressure in her abdomen increased.

"Everything is fine, Addie. It's a boy. Ten fingers, ten toes and a little puff of dark hair. Do you want to cut the cord, Derek?" Vivian called out to the couple.

Derek let go of Addison's hand and took a step passed the divider set up between Addison's head and her lower body. He accepted a pair of scissors from the nurse and cut the cord. His eyes immediately darted to his newborn son as the baby was passed off to a nurse. The nurse quickly wiped the baby clean and passed him off into Derek's arms.

"You did great, sweetie," Vivian told Addison comfortingly. "I'm just closing up and Derek is coming around with the baby."

* * *

"How are you doing, Addie?" Vivian asked as she came into the recovery room. "Any pain, fever?"

Addison had just been transferred to a postpartum recovery room and she knew, if she had any other doctor, no one would be come by to check on her so soon. Vivian had only been gone long enough to change out of her scrubs and back into her own clothes. "No, I'm doing okay. Still pretty numb but the feeling in my legs is slowly coming back,"

"Have you tried breastfeeding yet?"

"No, he hasn't expressed any interest in food yet. He's been asleep in the basinet ever since we got to the room."

"I'm sure he'll start dropping hints very soon," Vivian joked. "I'd like to give you another couple hours to rest but then I'd like to have you do a lap around the floor so we can slowly get you back on your feet. Normally a nurse or your husband would help you but you are extra lucky, you get me," her mentor told her teasingly. "Speaking of Derek, where is he? Most men don't take off immediately after the birth."

"I made him go. I want Riley here to meet her brother as soon as possible. I made him go get her from day care."

"Well, again, lucky for you, I have no patients at this hospital and absolutely nothing else to do so I can keep you company in Derek's absence. And tonight I will take care of Riley so Derek can spend the night here with you. Riley and I can have a night out together. I'll bring her in first thing in the morning so she can spend some time with her baby brother.

"Vivian, you really don't have to do that. Derek can go home with Riley. I'll be fine on my own."

"Nonsense. You just had a c-section. The least your husband can do is held with the recovery. He's staying here and I'll take care of Riley. End of story," Vivian told her firmly. The baby boy in the plastic bassinet let out a small cry as he opened his eyes, officially ending the conversation. Vivian lifted the baby boy from his plastic bassinet. "Look at him, Jeez, Addison, he's gorgeous. This one might give Riley a run for her money," she said as she passed the baby to Addison. "I think he's hungry."

Addison looked down, silently encouraging her newborn son to latch on. She cringed in pain as he tried to get familiar with the concept of latching on and suckling.

"I know it can hurt at first but you'll get used to it and it will get easier as he gets more practice. Or you can pump and bottle feed," Vivian told her when she noticed the cringe on the younger woman's face.

"Vivian, I can't thank you enough for your help. I couldn't have done this without you. Any of this."

"Yes, you could have," Vivian dismissively. "What's his name? I completely forgot to ask earlier. Does he have one yet?"

"We haven't finalized it yet but we're leaning toward Christopher Richard Shepherd. After Derek's father and Richard."

"That is beautiful."

"Richard doesn't know yet. Both of our mentors chose to abandon us through this pregnancy. He moved to Seattle and they are three hours behind us. We don't want to bother him in the middle of the work day. Derek will call him later tonight."

"Did you and Derek take it hard?"

"Not as hard as I took it when you left," Addison replied, watching as the older woman stared at her infant son in awe. "I don't know what I would have done without you today," she said again. "I wouldn't trust any other doctor to do a c-section on me. And even if I did let, it would have been such a horrible, cold experience. But you made me feel as comfortable with the situation as possible."

"Addison, I know that you depend on me and that's okay. I consider you a daughter and I'm happy to do just about anything for you. But look at this place, you are doing a spectacular job as head of department. The hospital has gotten so much attention for the cases you've been able to bring in since I've been gone. You've very quickly gain a lot of recognition and you're brought more attention to a lot of your staff. You're doing a better job as head of department than I ever did and I knew that would happen. I knew you were capable of it. And, Addie, you accomplished all of that with a family at home. You've got one amazing daughter and now a son, whom I'm sure will be just as amazing. You did all of that on your own. Well, you and Derek. All I did was support you. All I've ever done is support you. The rest was all you."

* * *

There ya go, part 2 of 2. Hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks for reading! Please leave a review :)


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